What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
