saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
