Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize