the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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