I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
