well I can't set my house on fire every night
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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