Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
