this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
