Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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