just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
