so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
