but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
