i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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