There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
