I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
