it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
