Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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