Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
