Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
