the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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