I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize