no you cant smoke seaweed
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
