so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
