I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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