just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
