actually, I'm a sock model
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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