I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
