This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
