We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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