Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
