Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
