Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
