also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
