Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
