help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
