I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
