So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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