i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
