If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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