saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
