If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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