he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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