you would pick up someone in the library
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
