I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
