She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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