Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
