Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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