Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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