I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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