I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i was born a porn star she said
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
