Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I AM VODKA MAN
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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