she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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