marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am naked and annoyed.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
