ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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