either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
