Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
where am i from again
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
