my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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