69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
