Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
