You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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