the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Even my vagina gasped.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
