that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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