Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
