its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
